


One of My Kind

by RcA



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Alpha!Jiyong, Alpha!Seunghyun, Alpha!Youngbae, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Dominance/submission, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends With Benefits, Gender Issues?, Heat Sex, Identity Issues, Knotting, M/M, Male self-lubrication, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega Verse, Omega!Daesung, Omega!Seungri, Other Vaguely Implied Pairings, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-20 02:52:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7387639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RcA/pseuds/RcA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being with Daesung when he's like this, the other's body overrun with the force of his heat, makes Seungri feel powerful. Potent. <em>Desired</em>. He can give Daesung this thing he needs just as well as any alpha, he <em>can</em>.</p>
<p>Seungri is an omega. He despises it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One of My Kind

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is not set during any particular point in time, although I do imagine it to be sometime after the release of Alive in 2012. Although I chose this particular look of theirs for the banner (seen below) because it’s my favorite, I took care not to describe the style or color of the guys’ hair in the story. Feel free to imagine them with whatever look from whatever time period you desire.
> 
> This was inspired by a conversation that took place in the comments section of [this AO3 fic.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6761299) It does jump around a lot, so I apologize if that is confusing. It becomes more sequential about halfway through. It was also written with the assumption that the reader is already familiar with the 'knotting' trope as sometimes seen in A/B/O fic. 
> 
> **Disclaimer:** This is a fictional work based on the public personas of real people. Although this work may contain references to real events, any such references are the author’s fictional interpretation of such events. Nothing _as it is written or portrayed here_ ever actually happened.
> 
>  
> 
>   
> 

 

 

 

This time. This time for sure.

It's never happened before, but they say there's a first time for everything, right? Seungri keeps telling himself that. He's a patient guy. Always hopeful. He can wait if that's what it takes.

So Seungri does just that: he waits for it, waits for the telltale swelling at the base of his dick that signals the start of his knot. Even after all this time, now solidly in his twenties and with a history who knows how many partners-- Seungri wouldn't call himself _promiscuous_ , but he has a wealth of opportunities and he prefers not to waste _all_ of them-- some small, stubborn part of him still expects it. Still anticipates the unique feeling of being locked in place inside his mate, securely slotted, neither of them going anywhere until his seed has settled and taken root... all betas or omegas, he'll have you know, all carefully vetted.

Seungri doesn't sleep with the alpha class.

Tonight he's with Daesung, because Daesung has asked him, his simple text message to Seungri earlier that day, a short, ambiguous, _"You free tonight?"_

Wide open to interpretation, but to Seungri the meaning is clear. Daesung is an omega, and it's that time again.

Being with Daesung when he's like this-- caught in the throes of his heat, writhing on the end of Seungri's cock in wanton desperation, not just desiring but _needing_ Seungri to give it to him hard, his body overrun with the force of his biological imperative-- it makes Seungri feel powerful. Potent. _Desired_. He can give Daesung this thing he needs just as well as any alpha, he _can_. He may not be one but he can play the part just as well, is fully confident that he can fulfill that primal urgency rooted deep within his friend as vigorously as any trueborn alpha, if not better.

Seungri is an omega. He _despises_ it.

So Seungri fucks omegas and the occasional docile beta, resolutely resisting his body's biological inheritance, railing against the unfairness of it all with everything he has at his disposal.

He should have been born an alpha. This he knows with unwavering certainty.

Determined to prove to the universe that it was _wrong_ to assign him his status, that it slipped up and made a mistake when it formed him in his mother's womb, Seungri pours all his defiant energy and pent-up resentment into every push of his straining body into Daesung's yielding one. Their sweat-soaked bodies rock in an punishing rhythm, the air in the room saturated with the unmistakable scent of Daesung's heat. To Seungri it is a heavy musk, the pheromones pouring off of Daesung in his body's attempt to attract a mate. If he lingers on it he might find that it's a little spicy, a little savory. It doesn't affect Seungri like it would an alpha, doesn't send him spiraling into a sexual frenzy, doesn't transform him into a creature drunk on desire. To his omega senses it's neither pleasant nor unpleasant; it's distinctly Daesung. Nothing more.

To _hell_ with his omega senses.

With a sharp snap of his hips Seungri ends it, pushing Daesung over the edge and claiming his own dizzying release shortly after. Daesung's back bows in pleasure, holding that pose for one glorious moment before he collapses, falling back to the sheets with the sweetest-sounding sigh.

Then Seungri waits, expectant. Still clinging to belief with clenched fists. Catches his breath but doesn't pull out. It's never happened before. Maybe this time... Maybe.

They're facing each other, and Seungri drags his eyes away from the sight of Daesung, past his spent cock resting against his hip and his own come spilled atop his belly, the evidence of his pleasure painted across his skin in pale, translucent ink. He looks past the beauty in the filth and peers down between them to the tender place where his still-hard cock disappears inside Daesung.

Still hard, but to his dismay, rapidly going soft.

His attention is pulled away by the distinct feeling of eyes boring into him. Daesung's, of course. With shaggy, tousled hair soaked and sticking to his face, his skin glazed with sweat, he looks divine. He gives Seungri a dubious look but doesn't speak. Aftershocks of the orgasm Seungri just gave him might have a little something to do with that, Seungri thinks. His chest puffs up with pride at the precise moment his dick finally goes limp, calling it quits for good.

The resulting disappointment is swift and cuts deep, but Seungri is no stranger to it. This is the usual way of things, after all. He cracks a smile at Daesung-- a little awkward, a little pained-- and in a smooth motion extracts himself, climbing over the other omega and falling comfortably onto his back at his side. Idly, he wipes at Daesung's slick where it coats his dick, more than a bit of the slippery mess smudged over his balls and smeared across the tops of his thighs.

Heat sex with Daesung is usually a messy affair. That shit gets _everywhere_.

"Mmm, that was great," Daesung hums in satisfaction, still panting lightly, just little puffs of air through his nose. His voice, always on the airy side, comes out raspier than usual. Wrecked with pleasure. "Thanks. As always." He stretches then, arms reaching over his head, the lean, developed muscles beneath his skin flexing in a way Seungri doesn't even try to ignore, practically glowing with contentment. Truly, like the cat that got the cream.

Seungri can't help his self-satisfied smirk. Why should he? He did good and he knows it. He replies with what he hopes is a nonchalant, "Sure, anytime." Rolling onto an elbow and half sitting up, he peers down at Daesung fondly, maybe a little lewdly. "Just let me know when you need me. I got you."

With that, he threads his fingers through the damp hair at the base of Daesung's skull and pulls him into a messy kiss-- more a disheveled meeting of lips and teeth than a proper kiss, but that's okay. They're both tired, they're both worn out. It's middle of the night and Seungri had shown up just after dark; they've been at it for hours on and off. The demanding nature of Daesung's quarterly heat is expected by now-- welcome, even. Seungri does his best to keep up. He loves his hyung and he is proud of his role in helping Daesung through this inconvenient but admittedly indulgent detail of his biology. To Seungri it's more than a duty as his friend, it's a privilege.

Because hey, this arrangement works for them. At least, Seungri knows it works for him; he's pretty damn sure it works for Daesung, who seems to own it, but who can say. The guy is so close-lipped most of the time.

Both of them being omegas, riding out his heats with Seungri is far safer for Daesung than spending them with the rest of Big Bang. The virility of alphas is well known, and sex with Seunghyun, Jiyong, or Youngbae could end in some unwanted results. Daesung doesn't want their children, he wants their _knot_... enough that in order to get it, and that frightens him. That his omega urges would drive his friend to take such a risk scares the crap out of Seungri. Getting tied is supposed to be fucking amazing for an omega-- or so he hears. Must really be something. He won't pretend to understand. It's not really his thing.

Seungri does his best not to sulk, not in this hard-earned afterglow, but the question plagues him still.

_Why can't I give him that?_

 

\--

 

 

Fast forward. They're on stage, all five of them together again and having the time of their lives. Spirits are high all around and the air is thick with excitement, the fans' fevered cheering and chanting spurring the five of them to new heights as the night wears on. It's the final night of their world tour, and it's been a wild success, one Seungri never imagined they would achieve.

Well, that's not entirely true. Call him cocky, call him confident, but Seungri has always felt he was destined for great things.

One by one, each of them takes a moment to address the crowd, after which they'll plunge into the encore. In Seungri's opinion this is always the best part of a concert, where they can really let loose and have a good time alongside their fans who are so dear to them.

When it's Seungri's turn to speak he is interrupted; his hyungs surround him, a mischievious glint in their eyes, and Seungri need see no more to know trouble is brewing. Their hands reach for the hem of his shirt and tug at it with clear intent. He knocks their greedy hands away with his free hand not holding the mic, because there's _no way in hell_ he's going to lose his shirt onstage in front of all the fans. And the cameras! This is being filmed! He isn't ready for that kind of exposure!

Seungri knows he's a good-looking dude, but he isn't an exhibitionist like Youngbae. There's a time and a place for that much naked skin, and as far as he's concerned, it isn't onstage.

So Seungri stands his ground and doesn't budge, and to his great relief, they give up on him. Jiyong pouts at him, his lips puckering up in such an adorable manner that Seungri almost cracks and goes to him, nearly forgiving him for leading the charge. Seunghyun backs off too, smiling sheepishly, but Youngbae... Youngbae has already set his sights on another.

God, they're _predators_.

Daesung turns and flees, flight response kicking in when he realizes what they intend to do to him. Predictable, really. Seungri wonders if Daesung realizes how sometimes he paints a target on his own back. As expected, his sudden retreat triggers the chase instinct in Jiyong and Seunghyun, who take off after both him and Youngbae-- seriously, how has he not learned this by now?

His hyungs may be predators at heart, but Seungri understands them.

Daesung was doomed from the start. He only makes it a few frantic strides across the stage before he's caught, Jiyong snatching the back of his shirt and hanging on with a surprisingly strong grip until the others can catch up. Captured and finally realizing his predicament, Daesung curls in around himself, bending sharply at the waist in a weak show of resistance, but from his guarded position near the back of the stage Seungri knows it's over for him.

At least they're all having a good time, and the crowd is eating it up. Because through his hair half-obscuring his face, it's impossible to miss Daesung's signature joyful grin, even as he goes limp in Jiyong's grasp. It's no secret to any of them that Daesung has a body to envy-- one that Seungri has intimate, thorough knowledge of-- but for some reason he is still so modest about shedding clothes in front of their fans.

Too bad for him. Youngbae and Seunghyun catch up, Youngbae seizing Daesung by his belt and hauling him bodily to one side while Seunghyun and Jiyong join forces to roll his shirt up the length of his back and over his head.

The fans love it. if their heightened screaming is any indication. Daesung laughs without restraint, seeming embarrassed, but even under the rough handling Seungri knows Daesung is loving the attention from his hyungs, his alphas... To Seungri's eyes he's practically lapping it up. And the alphas of Big Bang do so love to gang up on their omegas.

Now bare from the hips up, Daesung makes a grand show of stumbling to the back, tucking himself away behind the crew and backup dancers to hide his newfound nakedness. His attackers let him go, satisfied with their work-- the savages-- and turn again on Seungri in one final, repeated attempt to snatch the loose-hanging, sleeveless shirt off his slimmer frame. They're nothing if not persistent, and Seungri loves that about them, but it's not happening to him, not today. With a great, big, toothy grin befitting Big Bang's lovable, one and only maknae, Seungri plants his feet and holds them off again.

This is how they show their love. This is how they share their fondness for each other. They tease because they care, he knows that-- but the hyungs are handsier with him and Daesung in a way they aren't with each other. Seungri suspects it has less to do with their age and more to do with their status as omegas. Jiyong, Youngbae, and Seunghyun are naturally drawn to him and Daesung, and he questions if it's something they can fully control.

  
Something about that just doesn't sit well with him.

 

 

\--

 

 

They dote on him too, of course. He is Big Bang's positively adorable maknae, loved and cherished by his hyungs. It comes with the territory.

Seungri thoroughly enjoys the attention they lavish on him, both on- and off-camera. Nothing about it is an act-- okay, maybe they ramp it up a little in front of the cameras sometimes, so what? The fans eat it up! But their love for him is real, about that Seungri has no doubt.

It's a good thing, too. Seungri is hungry for love.

They tease him, pick on him in a loving way. Seunghyun takes a video of Seungri in the shower and threatens to post it online. Youngbae takes photos of Seunghyun in the shower as revenge, coming to Seungri's defense. In the end Seungri gets to keep his modesty a little longer; his shower video doesn't get posted.

He doesn't think Seunghyun would have gone through with it, with or without Youngbae's interference. He does think Seunghyun kept the video though. He tries not to think too much about that.

If Seungri has learned one thing it's that Seunghyun is the predatory type. He gives chase to his object of interest, prowling and nosing around his prey like a wolf sniffing out its next meal-- or an overgrown, overly affectionate puppy. His personality can swing wildly one way or the other at the drop of a hat. For Seungri it can be a bit much, his approach at times too strong for his liking, too forceful, too _possessive_.

But for Daesung-- who though he adores his bandmates rarely initiates contact with them, preferring to let the love come to him-- this makes him an ideal target for Seunghyun's affections. He welcomes his hyungs' attention when it comes his way, patiently waiting and accepting whatever they give him. All of Big Bang are happy to oblige... perhaps Seunghyun most of all. Something in Daesung stimulates the chase instinct in Seunghyun. They make a good pair.

Seunghyun can be... _'susceptible'_ is the word Seungri settles on, to the allure of a young, healthy, handsome omega like Daesung.

Something about that bothers Seungri greatly, more than he likes to freely admit. The inconvenient truth of how their reproductive biology affects them, how it changes them, how it drives their behavior, shaping their actions into predictable patterns. Daesung has more power over Seunghyun than either of them realizes. Seungri could have that power too... if he wanted it.

So Seungri watches on in bemusement as Seunghyun all but hovers over Daesung in the aftermath of their tour finale, sticks to his side like glue as they exit the stage. Their staff line up and down the hall to salute them for the conclusion of their wildly successful world tour, and Daesung darts through them, laughing uncontrollably, the brilliance of his smile like pure, undiluted sunlight. After the impromptu stripping incident someone had lent him a vest, but somewhere along the way he has lost that, too.

From the way Daesung keeps dropping clothes, you might think he's full swing into his quarterly heat.

Still, as he and Seunghyun barrel down the hall together, plowing through the sea of supporters who stretch congratulatory hands toward them from both sides of the hall, Seunghyun's sleeved arms come up and wrap tightly around Daesung's bare chest. Seungri can't tell if he's preventing Daesung from covering himself-- his slightly sadistic side shining through in play-- or shielding his exposed skin from the throngs of hungry eyes and hands. Seunghyun loves to tease, but more than that he's fiercely possessive over what he believes to be his.

A hand lands on Seungri's shoulder. It's Youngbae, giving him a knowing look.

"Jealous?"

"What? No. Seriously?" he replies, taken aback. "They can do what they want. I don't care." Youngbae just keeps on aiming that cool smirk at him, like he knows something about Seungri that Seungri himself doesn't. It's absurd, and the longer he looks at him like that the more Seungri finds himself fighting the urge to hit him.

"If you say so." And with that he disappears, leaving Seungri utterly perplexed and asking himself, _jealous of who?_

 

\--

 

 

The key thing about Seunghyun, Seungri has learned, is that while he thrills in the chase he very much prefers to not be chased. Doesn't like to be touched, he says. Insists on having his personal space. Seungri thinks he's a lot like a cat in that way. You have to let the cat come to you on its own; fawn over the cat, and it will turn its back and saunter away. The analogy fits Seunghyun perfectly and Seungri realizes that he can use this peculiar quality of his to his own advantage.

The next time the camera is rolling Seungri says to Seunghyun, "I love you, hyung," batting his lashes and laying a hand on his hyung's thigh in a meaningful way. Seunghyun looks a little unsettled, eyeing the hand touching him with a wary expression, as if he expects it might sprout fangs and bite him.

"We're just coworkers," Seunghyun says and pulls away gracelessly.

As the time goes on, the never-ending string of promotions coming and going, Seungri does it again-- and again, and yet _again_ \-- advancing on the other man eagerly, always with sweet talk and tender displays of emotion.

Seunghyun puts a little space between them.

It pains Seungri to do it. Seungri loves Seunghyun-- as a friend, as a brother, as a bandmate, as a potential lover. He would happily fall into bed with him if circumstances were different.

But Seunghyun is the quintessential alpha and Seungri is... something else. Something he can't yet define. Seungri can't give Seunghyun what he wants. So he draws a line and stands firmly on the side of _friend_. He smiles brilliantly when they play together at fanmeets, showers him with attention when he ventures close enough during concerts-- which Seunghyun so often blatantly ignores, as is his style-- and leaves him loving messages on his social media, as one dear friend, brother, and bandmate to another.

But in every way it counts he pushes him away.

 

 

\--

 

 

" _Oh_ ," Daesung mewls, bucking under him like some untamed beast. "Oh, _oh_... _Seungri_." Every breath leaves as a whimper like Seungri is driving a knife into him, like Seungri is _killing_ him, the tortured sound falling from between his lips without thought or care.

Which, well, in a manner of speaking he is. Spurring him onward toward that small, dazzling death, not for the first or even second time that night. This heat business with Daesung _really_ tests his stamina.

Moving in a steady rhythm behind Daesung, drinking in the sinful sounds the other makes for him, Seungri finds himself staring, transfixed, at a fixed point on the back of Daesung's neck. He's seen Seunghyun grab Daesung there countless times before, always with a certain careless abandon that he both admires and longs for madly. During a photoshoot, hanging out with the guys backstage before and after concerts, passing through the airport, leaving restaurants.

Casual dominance. When held by the scruff an omega should instantly submit, thinking of whoever has hold of him as a dominant figure.

Daesung tolerates the scruffing willingly enough, always smiles good-naturedly and ducks his head obediently until Seunghyun lets up-- the perfectly behaved omega, granting his alpha the reaction he seeks-- and Seungri can see Seunghyun practically preening. It makes him sick with envy. He can't explain it, but suddenly he's dying to put his hand there, too. Wants to grab on and hold tight, to pinch the thin, vulnerable skin there, to feel the muscle giving under his fingertips, to squeeze at the nape and force the other man's head down, _down_...

Without thinking, his hand flies up and latches on, his fingers brushing the fine hairs where Daesung's hairline begins, his thumb and forefinger tightening over the tendons pulled taut on either side of Daesung's neck.

The reaction is immediate, and not one Seungri had hoped for.

Daesung's entire body tenses up, going alarmingly still beneath Seungri. Then, in a flash, he whips around and slaps Seungri away from his neck in one swift, sharp motion, like his hand had stung him. At the same time he wrenches away-- Seungri slipping out of his scorching heat so suddenly it makes his head spin-- to face Seungri with such a fire in his eyes that for a moment Seungri is genuinely afraid.

" _Don't touch me there_ ," Daesung hisses, his normally kind voice dripping with uncharacteristic venom.

"But," Seungri starts, a little hurt. This is a side of Daesung he has never seen. "Seunghyun does it all the time."

"Seunghyun is an alpha," Daesung counters. He says it so matter-of-factly, like he shouldn't have to explain this to Seungri and has no patience for it. "You're not--"

He freezes and looks away, reluctant to finish. Why, to spare Seungri's feelings? What does he know?

"Oh."

"Well, you're not."

"Well, yeah," Seungri says, utterly failing to keep the defeat out of his voice, which cracks a little. Seungri gets it. He does. Grabbing an omega by the back of the neck is a dominant alpha behavior. Daesung only puts up with it from alphas, Seunghyun in particular, because Daesung may sleep with all of them from time to time when his heats require it, but even he plays favorites. It seems reasonable enough to Seungri, but all he can focus on is the unspoken half of Daesung's statement, hearing it loud and clear. Piercingly, painfully clear.

_You're not an alpha._

"Yeah, okay." Daesung is right though. Seungri is not an alpha. Where is the lie in that?

...But he should be. Everything in Seungri screams out, _‘This isn't what I am, what I am is **that** , why can't anyone see?'_ Only his own body disagrees, reminding him time and again that no matter how much he wants it, _he doesn't have what it takes_. Old anger and indignation flare up in him, clawing their way to the surface from somewhere deep and dark and secret. But all that comes out is a defensive-sounding "Sorry, didn't know it bothered you."

Daesung purses his lips then, sharp eyes studying Seungri, considering him. Seungri drops his gaze to his own knees, gives his wilting cock a cursory glance and wonders if this signals the end of this fuck, if he should just pull the wet condom off now. Worries that this might even mean the end of his involvement in Daesung's current heat. He knows he's being dramatic, but he wonders if Daesung will let him inside him even the next time, or ever again.

_God_ , he hopes that's not the case. He isn't sure his bruised ego can survive that kind of rejection. It was just a misunderstanding.

After a long moment Daesung takes a deep breath and releases it, the tension draining from his shoulders. "Just... please don't do that again." Giving Seungri's half-hard cock a glance, he turns around and moves back into place in front of Seungri, settling on hands and knees, all to Seungri's immense relief.

"Are you good to keep going?" he asks in a voice that's extra soft, cautious.

Seungri nods. The neck is off limits, got it. Reserved for alphas. Property of Seunghyun-- and maybe Jiyong and Youngbae too, who knows what Daesung gets up to with their hyungs behind closed doors. Seungri is never part of it.

With that thought he rises to his knees and takes himself in hand, eager to get back down to business, even if his pride still smarts from the blow.

 

 

\--

 

 

They're backstage waiting for makeup when he sees Jiyong push something into Daesung's hand. A flash of orange capped in white and Seungri knows what their leader has given him. Jiyong speaks in a low voice, Daesung nodding along attentively enough but looking for all the world like his mind is elsewhere, as he does when agreeing to something he doesn't especially want to do. Seungri knows that glassy-eyed stare well by now.

Their schedule right now is... well, ‘busy' doesn't even begin to cover it. The new tour has many months left on it, tens of cities to visit, hundreds of thousands of fans to entertain with their voices and their diverse, charismatic personalities. Big Bang is a tremendous machine, and as leader, Jiyong wants to keep it operating smoothly. It's a delicate subject, but they just can't afford to lose time or performance quality to Daesung's fast-approaching quarterly heat.

Daesung doesn't take suppressants unless he has to. This is usually how it goes down, one of the hyungs pushing a pill bottle into his hand and reasoning with him to take them. Daesung doesn't like taking them. Just wants to be himself, exactly as he knows he was made and meant to be.

Sometimes though, when the heat sets in, reducing his usual cool to ashes and turning him into a creature ablaze with insatiable lust, he could use a little help. And these days he isn't shy about asking his bandmates for their time and... talents.

It wasn't always that way; Seungri remembers a time when Daesung suffered through his heats alone in their early years. He doesn't know what changed, doesn't know when Daesung first began allowing his bandmates to help him through hard times in the form of a friendly fuck. Actively seeking them out, all of them.

By some miracle they've made it work. After all, a group consisting of three alphas and two omegas-- no mediating betas-- is normally asking for trouble. For Seungri, there had always been some pressure, some expectation that he and Daesung would band together during their heats as omegas sometimes do. A primitive survival strategy from some bygone era that valued, over all else, strength in numbers.

Thing is, Seungri doesn't do heats. He and his little orange prescription bottle of suppressants make sure of that.

 

 

\--

 

 

"Do I have to?" He knows he's whining. He doesn't care. "It's not like I can get you pregnant."

"You and me," Daesung wags a finger back and forth between the two of them while Seungri glowers down at the box of condoms. "We're not exclusive. There are other things to worry about besides babies. Think with your head for a moment," Daesung chides. " _This_ one," he says, bopping Seungri on the skull.

Times like this it pays to be hardheaded.

"Ow," Seungri says, not really meaning it, but does Daesung hear it? Maybe. Does he care? No. He snatches the box right out from between Seungri's fingers and tosses it in his basket. "They'll stay at my place," he declares, and Seungri just goes along with it.

Later, outside the store, Daesung pulls Seungri aside.

"I need you to to be responsible," he says with a seriousness that takes Seungri by surprise. "Because I might not always be able to."

Seungri gives him a glum look, but he gets it. Just one less thing for Daesung to worry about in a time when it's really hard to think straight. The heat does strange things to its victims.

As an omega, Seungri can't impregnate Daesung. As an omega, Seungri can't impregnate _any_ man. But being an omega, Seungri can _become_ pregnant, and that thought scares the shit out of him. Proven birth control for omegas doesn't exist yet, and an alpha's knot compromises the effectiveness of condoms, usually because they simply snap or slide off.

As if the prospect of childbearing wasn't horrifying enough, Seungri has been tied once before and not only had he thought it felt awful, he was terrified for weeks afterward that he had been knocked up. He never wants to experience a knot like that again.

One of the guys gave Daesung an artificial knot as a gag gift of sorts, so many years ago that the memory has gone fuzzy for Seungri. Of course, the alcohol they had been downing that night could also be to blame. Daesung had seemed embarrassed at the time, had laughed it off. Seungri doesn't know if Daesung still has it, if he's ever used it. He knows Daesung has taken a knot before, probably from their bandmates and probably more than once. Daesung says that while he doesn't fully understand why, the tie feels _incredible_ \-- and it had taken more than a few drinks to get him to admit that, because while Daesung can be downright _filthy_ , especially when he drinks, he isn't a dirty talker by nature.

However, he can't do it as often as he'd like. It's a special occasion when he lets an alpha knot him-- that, or an accident.

"They have to pull out before the knot forms," Daesung warns him. "And if they don't, you have to pull off. It's the hardest thing to do if you're in heat because in that moment, that's the one thing in the whole world that you want... and you don't have a lot of time to act. Then it's too late."

This is everything that Seungri despises about his status as an omega, it's everything he shies away from when he pops the cap on that tiny pill bottle and shakes its contents out into the palm of his hand. Some people call it running, some call it hiding, but Seungri calls it staying _safe_. Eliminating risk and single-mindedly paving his own personal path to success.

The risk is too great. An omega's chances of becoming expectant skyrocket when an alpha gives him his knot-- that's the purpose of the knot, after all, just a glorified plug to hold the alpha's seed and trigger the onset of the omega's reproductive abilities. Alpha male plus omega male equals three. Viable offspring. Reproductive success.

Call it what you will, Seungri doesn't want it. Not using the method his body has in store for him.

Omega male plus omega male, even if one of them has strong alpha tendencies, equals... two omegas desperately using each other to get off while avoiding a bun in the oven, little more.

It's biology, pure and simple.

 

 

\--

 

 

One day Seungri walks in on the two of them-- Seunghyun and Daesung. They're in bed together and they're a little... tied up.

He can't believe his luck. They're at a hotel in Japan that evening, and Daesung has entrusted Seungri with a copy of the card key to his room in case of... the word he used was 'emergencies'. Daesung has his current heat pretty well under control with a little help from his suppressants, but Seungri could be needed at any time. You just never know.

Besides, if Seungri knows Daesung, he knows he hasn't been taking the suppressants as religiously as he should be.

Not realizing that Daesung has company, Seungri breezes into the room and is treated to the sight of his two hyungs flailing and falling over each other in their haste to cover up. They both shout when they see him. Seunghyun ends up on his side behind Daesung who, in his current tied state, has little choice but to turn with him, effectively putting him in the position of the Little Spoon. They fling the sheets over themselves and look up at him with such shocked, ridiculous expressions on their faces that Seungri can't help but bark out a laugh, his great amusement coming entirely at their expense.

He doesn't even feel bad. He wonders if that's a problem.

Seunghyun curses. "How did you get in here?" he demands, the panic on his face beginning to recede and morphing into that stern petulance that Seunghyun is so practiced at; Seungri fears he's only moments away from a tantrum.

He holds up his duplicate card key in answer, not bothering to hide his delighted grin as he asks, "Scared you, didn't I? Are you two tied?"

Daesung has thrown his arms over his head in a pitiful attempt to hide, but Seungri can see how red his face is, practically glowing in embarrassment. Probably still recovering from the sudden scare, too.

Seunghyun is still glaring at him from behind Daesung.

"Don't worry," Seungri assures him. "The lock on the door works just fine. Daesung gave me a key for, uh, emergencies. But I see he's being taken care of, so... I guess I'll just see myself out. Have fun, be careful," he sings, spinning on his heel in a showy fashion, his cheer at their predicament making him feel giddy, his steps light.

Seungri is a good maknae-- considerate of his elders, respectful of their authority-- but even he has his evil moments.

He only makes it a few strides before he hears Seunghyun's deep voice calling out to him.

"Hey, Seungri, you wanna see?"

Daesung follows that up with a quiet huff of annoyance, but Seungri barely registers it, his body stopping of its own accord well before his brain has even processed the words enough to understand their gravity. Just around the corner, beyond that wall, his friends are naked and pressed tightly against each other, and Seunghyun's knot is buried in Daesung. Seunghyun has Daesung tied. Seunghyun has invited him to see the tie up close.

'Surprised' doesn't even begin to cover how Seungri feels about Seunghyun bringing him into this. Letting him come near when they're like this is a generous gesture. Seunghyun should have chased him out of the room by now-- maybe not physically, but he always has words. He can be intimidating when he sets his mind to it. An alpha mid-knot is fiercely-- no, _ferociously_ protective of his omega. An alpha's fundamental instinct is to possess and protect that which he possesses. Seunghyun would never allow another alpha, or even a strong beta, to venture this close to Daesung and him while they're in this state; they are both far too vulnerable.

But the presence of another omega must be acceptable, Seungri concludes. He's not a threat to Seunghyun-- or to Daesung, for that matter-- isn't a biological competitor in this great Circle of Life. Seunghyun can put children in Daesung. Seungri can't.

The thought ticks him off for sure, but not enough to smother his curiosity nor dampen his desire. 'Does Seungri want to see?' Seunghyun asks. _Of fucking course Seungri wants to see_. The thought alone has the front of his pants feeling a little tight, his cock beginning to thicken in tentative interest that he can't quell.

"Um," Seungri starts eloquently, "Is it okay with Daesung?" He has to ask. Seunghyun regularly blurts things out without first consulting the others, a bad behavior that they usually let him get away with... But everyone in Big Bang has their boundaries, and as the youngest Seungri tries his best not to cross them uninvited.

He hears Seunghyun murmuring to Daesung for a moment, his voice little more than a whisper to Seungri's pricked ears, then Daesung sighs softly. "It's fine. Come on over."

"You sure? I can go... It's not a big deal." It's not like he's imagined this, fantasized about it, _dreamed_ of it. Seungri peers around the corner at them.

"You're curious, aren't you? Come and get a good look before I change my mind," Daesung tempts, wiggling his hips suggestively.

So he goes. Tries not to appear too eager, but he's been too enamored with this for too long. This time when he comes upon them Seunghyun has retaken his position atop Daesung, poised protectively over his back with hips pressed flush against the curve of Daesung's ass. Disappointment strikes him hard-- how can he see anything like this? There is little room to maneuver when the knot is in place. Seunghyun and Daesung are tied together, in every sense of the word, for possibly the next half hour.

"Get over here, you," Seunghyun orders him, one hand reaching out and yanking him close by the sleeve of his shirt. Seungri ignores the fleeting look of interest he shoots him as he comes in range and leans in, close but not too close. With one hand steady against the defined muscles of Daesung's lower back, Seunghyun inches his own hips back, making room for Seungri's hungry gaze. He digs his thumbs into the soft skin of Daesung's cheeks and spreads him enough for Seungri to see where he is sheathed in Daesung.

As he expected, most of the knot is hidden from sight, tucked firmly inside the soft flesh of Daesung's ass, but Seungri can see the beginning of it, can just make out where near the base of Seunghyun's cock the shaft begins to grow in size, swelling suddenly into an angry-looking, hard ball of flesh that he can't see the rest of. Seunghyun lifts his head and grins wildly at him.

"Like what you see?"

When he leans back Seungri sees how the sheer size of the knot pulls on Daesung, the ring of muscle clamped down around Seunghyun's girth visibly distending around the knot's bulk. Daesung makes a small sound of discomfort, his hips following Seunghyun's back almost immediately.

It's _obscene_. Seungri can't believe they're letting him see this.

"Daesungie doesn't like it when I do this," Seunghyun teases, coaxing his hips away again. Again his knot snags and again Daesung goes with him, but this time he shoves back against him hard, punishing. Seunghyun only laughs.

"Because it hurts!" Daesung whines, twisting around as best as he can to level a look of exasperation at Seungri. "He's _obsessed_. It's like he thinks it's going to disappear inside me and has to keep checking on it." Seunghyun's mouth drops open and he looks offended; in retaliation he smacks Daesung on the ass lightly. Daesung laughs and Seungri dissolves into laughter right along with him, more than a little keyed up himself.

"Do you two bicker like this every time?" Seungri asks, leaning back on one hand to better address the both of them at once, taking a bit of the sheet and laying it across his lap in what he hopes is a subtle move. They probably wouldn't mind, but it doesn't seem appropriate. They don't seem to notice.

"Of course not. Seunghyun is only like this because you're here. I think he wants to show off," Daesung grouses. Seungri thinks he's probably pretty close to the mark on that one.

"Okay. So... what do you normally do to pass the time while you're stuck like this? Talk? I mean, it's kind of cool and all, but this just seems so inconvenient." Of course, 'kind of cool' is an understatement that doesn't explain the straining against the front of his jeans, but Seungri isn't going to draw attention to it. His own state of excitement can wait.

Daesung hums in thought. "Seunghyun is so lonesome, you know. Sometimes he just needs to hold someone." He twists around as far as he can again to look at Seunghyun behind him. "Maybe I should get you a teddy bear or something, you know, for when I'm not here."

"Aw, you _cuddle?_ That's cute, guys," Seungri says sweetly.

"Oh!" Seunghyun gasps, a thought striking him. "You can get me one of those body pillows. One that has you on it. We're in Japan right now, it would be so easy." Daesung's eyes crinkle as his face twists in disbelief.

"Please tell me you're joking," Daesung deadpans.

" _Da-ki-ma-ku-ra_ ," Seunghyun chants, his Japanese as awkward as it's ever been and Seungri cringes. He knows Daesung would too if he wasn't so polite about it.

"No, you definitely don't want one of those," Daesung says decisively.

"Yes, I do," Seunghyun replies, becoming a little pouty. He presses his nose to Daesung's neck and adds, "But I'd rather have the real thing."

Daesung smiles in a sweet way, looking pleased. Seungri coughs into his hand politely.

"So... cuddling. Sounds fun."

"Oh don't sound so excited, Seungri," Daesung says, his voice heavy with sarcasm but still smiling fondly. "Sometimes he gets me off again. It's nice." Seungri snorts at 'nice', and Daesung continues, "Just 'cause one part of me is occupied doesn't mean the rest of me isn't ready for some action."

"Oh, is that a request?" Seunghyun says, the words coming out a little muffled with his face still smushed against Daesung's neck. His hands begin to wander.

"After Seungri leaves."

"Why? Nothing he hasn't seen before." With that Seunghyun reaches under Daesung to grab at his half-erect cock, not very gently. He ignores Daesung's affronted _'Hey!'_ and turns to Seungri. "Isn't that right?"

Seungri tears his eyes away from the hand palming the head of Daesung's rapidly filling cock and looks to Seunghyun. "Sure, but I didn't come over here to watch you jerk him off. Been there, done that," he replies, feeling a little sassy. Seunghyun gives Daesung a long stroke from root to tip, and Daesung's faint gasp dissolves into a moan, which Seungri resolutely ignores.

"How much longer do you think you have before the knot goes down?" _'Probably not long'_ , he wants to say, feeling a little mean, but expects he would get hit for that.

"Hard to say," Seunghyun muses. "Maybe another ten, fifteen minutes?"

"If we're lucky," Daesung interjects boldly. "Seunghyun's knots aren't exactly long-lived. But _ah_ , I'll take what I can get." He pauses, stretching languidly, his hips lowering to the bed. Seungri doesn't miss how the motion pulls Seunghyun forward and down with him-- led by his dick, in every sense of the word.

The mechanics of this just seems so awkward to Seungri. _So why does he still want it so badly?_

Seunghyun huffs and pouts at Daesung. "That's definitely not true. Why are you telling lies, Daesungie," he whines, propping himself up on one arm. The other hand he slides up Daesung's sides, bringing it to rest on the slope of skin where neck meets shoulder. Suddenly his demeanor changes, taking on a dangerous quality. Like flipping a switch. His already rich voice seems to fall an octave, going deep and authoritative. It sends a shiver up and down Seungri's spine. Daesung's too, judging by the way he quakes.

"You love my knot," Seunghyun insists, "and I love giving it to you. Feeding it into you." With that, he takes a firm hold of Daesung's neck, his large palm closing over his nape, strong fingers applying a painful-looking pressure to the skin at the base of his skull. Daesung's reaction is swift and instinctive and entirely what Seungri had expected when he tried this himself. His head drops, his whole body arching _into_ the touch, toned back curving sensually and muscles in his arms flexing. Seungri sees that his cock has sprung to full attention underneath him, the head bumping against the faint trail of hair on his belly. It leaves behind just a trace of pre-come, milky and thin, and a searing pulse of arousal rips through Seungri at the sight, his cock filling with blood so fast that he's actually fucking _dizzy_ from it.

Seunghyun triggering Daesung's submissive response just might be the hottest fucking thing Seungri has ever seen.

And if anyone ever tries it on Seungri there _will_ be violence.

A quiet gasp tears itself out of Daesung, and Seunghyun jerks behind him, his hips rocking against Daesung again like he's been sucked in. It's not far from the truth, Seungri muses, his own need making it hard to think straight. The tie works both ways-- the alpha's knot is only half the equation, after all. A tie is completed when the omega's body clamps down on the alpha's cock just behind the knot, effectively locking the alpha in place for the duration of the tie. Intermittent contractions will move the process along, and Seunghyun will continue spilling all that he has into his partner in intervals. It's as if Daesung's body is greedily holding him hostage all while milking his cock.

It's so damn hot to see it happening before him, but to be honest Seungri finds the whole business more than a little frightening. Alphas are proud to give their knots. To tie an omega is to form a rare bond... but it's also an issue of trust. Sure, Seunghyun could really hurt Daesung if they tried to separate, but not without sustaining some very serious damage, himself. The thought alone makes Seungri's fingers and toes curl in imagined pain.

God, he doesn't even want to think about it. Time to move along.

By now they've all but forgotten about him. Daesung's scent is less noticeable to him, but as the perspiration gathers on their skin Seungri notices Seunghyun's more alluring alpha musk beginning to fill the room and he thinks he should probably go before it gets to him, before he does something he'll regret. Seungri pushes himself up and off of the bed, backs up a few steps, slowly. Seunghyun and Daesung both give him a cursory glance, the bulk of their attention captured by what's occurring between them-- between their legs-- leaving little for Seungri. He recognizes the signs of Daesung's heat pulling him under again. It was nice to talk to him in the interim. Seungri slowly creeps away as his friend sinks ever so slowly into a haze of hormones, slipping away from him while Seunghyun works him over-- no, as _his_ body works _Seunghyun_ over, thirsty for what the alpha can give him.

What Seungri wishes _he_ could give him.

Caught up in each other, they don't see him go. Amid Seunghyun's grunts of effort and Daesung's sweet sounds of pleasure, they don't hear Seungri's quiet footsteps crossing the carpet. They don't see the shadow that's fallen over his face, a veil of resentment darkening his eyes. They don't know how hot and bothered they've made him, remain oblivious to how his erection fails to diminish even as he puts distance between them and himself, every step pulling the front of his jeans taut and making him wince in pain. They miss how his face twists up with envy, the ugliest of emotions.

They don't notice as he slips down the hall and out the door, closing it softly behind him.

 

 

\--

 

 

"Seungri!"

_Keep walking_ , he urges himself. _Keep your head down, keep walking._

"Seungri, wait!"

_Don't look at him_ , he repeats like a mantra. _Don't look at anyone, keep going, you're almost there where you can be alone and do all the damage you want and no one will have to see you **come undone--**_

He grits his teeth, clinging with bloody fingers to the last vestiges of his control.

_Or fall to pieces--_

"Seungri _stop_ ," a hand catches him by the shoulder, gentle but firm with an undeniable, underlying strength. Daesung, always Daesung. "Please," he says, the word riding out of him on an exhale. It sounds so disgustingly desperate and Seungri _can't fucking stand it._

"Tell me what's wrong. You're angry, why? What happened back there?"

"It's nothing," Seungri dismisses, then realizes that's not an answer at all. Not that he owes Daesung an answer right now; he doesn't owe anyone anything. "Look, I don't want to talk about it. I just need to be alone." He shrugs Daesung's hand off and continues on his way.

"It's not me, is it? Did I... do something?"

"This isn't about you," Seungri scoffs at him, his agitation rapidly getting the better of him.

Even so, Daesung stops him again, bravely risking Seungri's growing ire for the sake of clarity, for reassurance, for his own fucking _peace of mind_. Every time he touches Seungri it's gentle, careful, like the slightest contact might set him off, and Seungri thinks, _'He's right to be afraid of me.'_ He feels like a ticking time bomb.

The phantom weight of a hand ghosts over the back of his neck, the sensation burned into memory on the end of a fiery brand.

Seungri promised there would be violence, didn't he?

"It isn't about me," Daesung echoes back, seeming skeptical. "If it isn't about me then why are you looking at me like--" He hesitates, like the words stuck in his throat on the way up and out.

Whatever it is he was going to say, Seungri doesn't want to hear it. He knows he must look ready for murder. He feels ready for it, every muscle in his body tensing up in anticipation of a physical struggle. If he can't make it to a place where he can be alone and decompress, something-- or someone-- is going to come to some serious fucking _harm_.

He had run, while what he had meant to do was _fight_. Someone had grabbed him and Seungri had instinctively fled like the meek, wimpy omega that he really is and he has never hated himself more. He didn't submit, there is that... but as far as Seungri is concerned, tripping over himself in his haste to run far away as fast as his legs would take him like some scared little girl is hardly any better.

Out of one final act of consideration for Daesung-- sweet, kind Daesung, who doesn't deserve to be the target of his misguided rage-- his eyes drop to the floor, intent on focusing his restless energy instead on the pattern on the tiles, on the lines between the squares.

"You know I can't stand it," he grinds out. "People mistake you for a beta, sometimes even an alpha-- an alpha! Can you believe that? It's so fucking ridiculous. And yet everyone somehow knows right off the bat that I'm an omega."

"I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it," Daesung says. "And I'm really sorry he grabbed you like that. It was rude of him--"

" _Rude?_ "

"--and he was way out of line, but." He stops to reconsider, again. "I hate to say this-- and please know that I'm trying to help you-- but you might be overreacting? Why is this a problem, anyway? You _are_ an omega, Seungri." Everything he says is true, Seungri knows this, but he bristles at it nonetheless.

"I don't even fucking smell like an omega. Unlike _you_. How could he tell?"

A flash of hurt flits across Daesung's face at the harsh way he says it, gone in a second. He looks down at himself. "I don't think the scent is that obvious, is it...?"

"Oh don't even try. You _reek_ of it," Seungri sneers, the words flying out of his mouth before he can stop them. Not entirely true, really, but he's full-blown furious now and feeling combative, and that was meant to hurt.

Daesung recoils, looking injured. "Okay," he states, brows drawing together in growing frustration. "I'm not even gonna pretend to understand why this riles you up. But I don't think you should be taking it out on me."

Seungri throws his hands in the air, raising his voice to cry, "Well who else am I going to take it out on? Jiyong? Youngbae, Seunghyun?" He laughs, knowing how hysterical he sounds. "No, they'd take me down in less than a _second_. Because they're _alphas_. They'd do that freaky thing where they just," he waves a hand in a vague motion. Daesung will know what he means by it. The _influence_. Against it they are nothing. He is nothing.

Daesung crosses his arms, the change in posture making him appear defensive. "So you're blowing up at me because we're on a level playing field. You and me?"

Seungri recognizes the olive branch when he sees it. But no matter what Daesung may say, he and Daesung are not on equal ground and never will be. They may both be omegas but Daesung is still his elder, even if only by a year, and Seungri is _so far_ out of line right now, treating his hyung like this. If he was thinking straight he'd be shocked and appalled that Daesung is letting him speak to him so harshly. If Daesung were a lesser person-- if he was not so considerate, so pleasant, so _angelic_ , everything expected of the _perfect fucking omega_ \-- he would probably be kicking the shit out of Seungri by now.

But Daesung is Daesung, and Seungri is... well.

"No," Seungri says in as steady a voice as he can manage through his simmering anger. He has just about reached his boiling point. "You think we're the same, but we're not. When I look at you I see what it means to be an omega... and I don't want that. I won't be that!"

Daesung raises a hand to his lips in concern. Through parted fingers he says softly, "I knew you had some issues with your status, but I had no idea it was this bad."

"No, you really have no idea," he says, flattening his palm against Daesung's broad chest and pushing him away when he comes close _again_. _How many times--?_ "As if someone like you, so at home in your own damn skin, could ever understand," Seungri growls, impatient, still buzzing with a wild, fiery energy. His body itches for a fight.

It would be just like Seungri to run from one fight and right into another.

So on an impulse he taunts, "You know, we could go on like this all day and all you'd do is _take it.”_

Daesung's composure snaps-- _finally_.

"What is your _problem_?" he cries. "What do you want me to do?!"

_Leave me alone_ , Seungri thinks but what comes out instead is "Fight back for once!" Seungri growls and shoves him again, with more force this time. "I want you to fucking _fight back_."

Daesung never fights back. Never rises up. He may be the calmest, most peaceful person Seungri has ever known. He probably doesn't has an aggressive bone in his body. His nature fits the ideal of an omega perfectly, and it's infuriating because Seungri wants Daesung to be more than that. _He_ wants to be more than that... Hell, he _is_ more than that.

It pricks at him sometimes to know that, as an omega, that is what's expected of him. Most days he can shrug it off, but today, in this moment-- caught up in all his indignant fury, lost in his sparking anger, on the verge of spitting fire and spewing flames-- the thought drives Seungri _mad_.

"But I don't want to fight you," Daesung pleads.

"Exactly. You're so _perfectly mannered_ ," Seungri sneers.

" _Oh my god_ ," Daesung mutters. "If I disgust you so much then why do you agree to help me out? With my heats? Why, if you hate it so much." His tone is accusing, but in his voice there is a note of honest confusion.

Daesung wants an honest answer? Seungri will give him an honest answer.

"You want to know why? Okay, sure. It's because you're such an _omega_ ," Seungri spits the word out like it burns his tongue. "What does that mean? It's the way you get when the heat takes over... Desperate, needy, begging for it like a dog, like a bitch in heat."

The look on Daesung's face tells him he needs to _shut up right now_ , but it bubbles up in his throat, consequences be damned. The truth inside him is like a heavy ball of broken glass, the shards shredding the walls of his throat on its way up, and in its wake copious amounts of blood well up and spill out of his open mouth like long-kept secrets.

He can't stop it. He's always been a talker. No changing that now.

"Your omega nature is _weak_ , the heat _controls_ you. You need a hard cock in you so bad you'd do anything to get it... It's pretty pathetic. You've slept with all of Big Bang and you'll keep on doing it because you have no power over your own body." It keeps coming, the truth building, becoming too big, too urgent, too painful, too _ugly_ to contain.

Even if it means tearing down everything they've devoted years to nurturing, this unnamed thing between them.

"So yeah," Seungri continues, "I help you out. Because If I can get with you when you're like that, it makes me feel like... I'm strong. I feel strong. I feel more like myself than ever, like who I'm supposed to be. Against your omega I feel like an alpha, and for once I feel _right_."

There. He said it.

Daesung looks like he's been struck. Seungri might as well have walked up and slapped him in the face, or punched him in the gut; it would have had the same effect. Seungri thinks this is it, this is the final straw, the moment in which Daesung will lose his temper, he'll finally crack and become the outlet that Seungri needs.

But for a long moment, nothing happens.

The silence between them stretches on. Seungri opens his mouth to speak, to snap the silence like a taut rubber band with more sharp words, more hard truths that shouldn't be spoken-- but Daesung beats him to it, his voice low and serious, his eyes just a little wet.

"You'd be just like me if you weren't suppressing all the time. You're a slave to that little pill bottle of yours. You're never without it. That's what's sad."

"That's the best you can come up with? Better a slave to that than a slave to my sex drive."

"You're not exactly a saint, yourself! How many strangers have you fallen into bed with? At least I'm careful about it," Daesung counters.

"Yeah, because we're always there for you. What happens when we're not?" Seungri snaps back, the jaws of his anger going straight for the jugular. "What happens when you're all out of options? Who else will you go and _bend over_ for? Every time we fuck you we're doing you a favor."

"A favor? Don't act all high and mighty, like you don't get something out of it. You're being _selfish_ , Seungri," Daesung says miserably. "The way you hold yourself back, you might as well be a beta."

Seungri squares his jaw and glares, refusing to back down. "Better that than an omega."

Daesung turns away like he's done, so done. "I can't believe this," he mutters. "I can't fight you over this. You really don't know what you're saying."

Seungri cannot _believe_ this man's patience.

"I know exactly what I'm saying! Don't forget, I've seen you at your worst. You can't fucking control it. I'm controlling it," Seungri lifts his chin in defiance. "Whatever it takes."

"Seungri, just... stop talking."

"Can't take the truth?"

"You have _no idea_ what you're talking about. You have _no right_ to preach to me about what it means to be an omega. You're not an alpha, Seungri. You're an omega, like me. I thought... You're..." His voice cracks on that last word and he shakes his head, looking bewildered, pained, like he's the one suffering here.

"There's something wrong with you. Inside you, Seungri, there's..." He pauses, as if weighing the potential consequence of his next words. "There is nothing wrong with _me_. It's you. You need help."

Seungri takes a step forward in warning. "Don't you fucking say it," he snarls.

Voice shrinking to a whisper, Daesung says, "I think you're _broken_."

That does it. The immense weight of Daesung's words hits him like a wrecking ball, demolishing something deep inside Seungri, the last of his self-restraint crumbling. _'You're broken'_ the words punch through him, _'You're all messed up, you're wrong,'_ and before he knows it he's launched himself at Daesung and thrown a fist at the side of his face with as much force as he can muster.

It connects. Daesung lurches back, Seungri's momentum and his own surprise carrying him backward a few steps-- Seungri thinks he might be retreating, it would be just like him-- but then in one step Daesung changes course and throws his full weight back into Seungri. The impact stuns Seungri long enough for strong hands to clamp down on his wrists-- shit, _that hurts_ \-- and with an enraged Daesung looming over him, Seungri sees where one of his rings had caught on the other's face, leaving behind a shallow wound that's just begun to bleed.

Small though it is, the sight of blood spurs him on.

_This is it._ Daesung is fighting him, _he's finally fucking fighting him_. Seungri pushes back, tries to wrestle his arms free of Daesung's vicegrip, his heavy hands and solid arms as unyielding as iron shackles. They struggle against each other like that, twisting and pushing and shoving but not doing any real damage beyond the first strike thanks to Daesung's unforgiving hold.

"What are you doing? Let go and fight me!" Seungri spits at him. Daesung squeezes harder and Seungri thinks he feels the bones of his wrists grinding together. "Let me _go!_ " he shrieks and wrenches his body back in a daring move, and they nearly trip over each other's feet as Daesung tries to keep up, not letting up at all on his death grip.

"Don't ever touch me again," Daesung rasps, sounding deadly and really, truly not like Daesung at all.

Just as Seungri snarls in frustration, about to lift a leg and start _kicking_ if it comes to that, their hyungs turn the corner at the end of the hall-- Youngbae with Jiyong at his shoulder, and not far behind them, Seunghyun.

Alarmed and as one, Youngbae and Jiyong fly down the hall at them. The scene looks damning for Daesung who has the upper hand at that precise moment; he drops Seungri's wrists like hot metal as the guys rush him, and Seungri turns to run.

He does at least get a split second of cruel satisfaction out of seeing Daesung buckle under his hyungs' punishing hands as they grab him roughly by the scruff of his neck. They don't have to force him down; he drops immediately.

How could they think for even a moment that _Daesung_ would need restraining?

Of course, it doesn't last because he doesn't go far; Youngbae always was the best sprinter of the group. He catches Seungri too easily, yanking him back by the collar of his shirt. Seunghyun joins in a second later, barreling into him and wrapping him up in a bear hug meant to restrain, forcibly ending his mad dash to freedom. Jiyong takes a contrite and shaken Daesung by the shoulders and ushers him back as well, though somewhat more gently than Seunghyun and Youngbae are currently handling Seungri.

His fight with Daesung is over, but it's still wise to put space between them.

"What the hell is going on?" Jiyong demands, looking more distressed than Seungri has seen him in a long time. "Were you two fighting? Why were you fighting?" Meanwhile Youngbae is murmuring to him to " _Hold still, just **calm** **down**."_ Seunghyun says nothing, only tightens his grip.

Seungri doesn't answer, just grapples with them, baring his teeth and thrashing in their arms. To one side he sees a hand reaching for his neck and snaps, " _Don't_ ," jerking away. The hand drops. Still, their presence alone, all three of them together and focused on him... Seungri finds himself calming under their influence, succumbing, to his overwhelming dismay. Across the room he sees Daesung doing the same, his head bowed and hands clasped in front of him in quiet acquiescence.

_No!_ Seungri _won't submit_ , he'll go down _fighting_ like the unrealized alpha he is. He growls and tries to shrug them off but they each bark a command at him, their voices booming at such close proximity and he flinches. The double combo of _omega_ and _maknae_ hits him like a sack of bricks and he finally sags between them, wilting. His body is simply beyond his control. There is nothing left for Seungri to do in this moment but submit to his hyungs... to the unrelenting authority of his alphas.

Once calm, Seunghyun and Youngbae drop him into a chair. Seunghyun goes to Daesung then, Jiyong taking his place, and together he and Youngbae loom over him like two parents mulling over how best to discipline their disorderly child.

Seungri expects them to be upset with him, assumes they'll be disappointed in their _sweet maknae_ for lashing out like this. That he can handle.

What he can't bear is the way they look at him with such concern.

So he locks his gaze stubbornly on the floor and, as the rush of emotion ebbs away, the flame of his anger fizzling out, he finally begins to feel awful about attacking Daesung. Realizes the gravity what he'd done. He'd deliberately provoked his friend. He'd fucking _assaulted_ him like some animal. He had gone straight for the face and he'd drawn blood-- oh shit, he hopes that isn't going to scar.

Under the crushing weight of his guilt-- and the disapproving gazes of Jiyong and Youngbae-- Seungri can't look up at him, but at some point he vaguely registers Daesung leaving in a hurry, Seunghyun plastered to his side, no doubt attempting to console his favorite omega. Seunghyun shoots them a troubled look over his shoulder as they go.

They didn't know about his pent-up anger and frustration, didn't know he was a volcano ready to erupt, his molten insides spilling over everyone in range and taking them down with him. He had worked _so hard_ to keep it that way.

There's nothing, no fuel left in the tank. Seungri wishes he could reach into himself and rekindle the anger that had been driving him just moments before. Anger, at least, is an emotion that inspires power and impetus; it gives him a burst of strength, fills him with vigor and vitality and the intoxicating feeling that he can do anything if he sets his mind to it, can take on anyone.

Shame, though... that's something else.

 

 

\--

 

 

The tour goes on. They don't talk about what happened. Seungri is loathe to bring it up, and as far as he can tell Daesung feels the same. They let the matter hang, the tension a physical thing between them, sizzling and smoldering low like hot embers that refuse to die after a fire.

Little seems to change between Daesung and him; they were never overly close to begin with, their personalities complete opposites from the day Big Bang was formed. They treat each other politely, smiling when it's appropriate and making small talk when required, usually when a camera is pointed in their direction. It feels like the years of history between them have unwound, returning Seungri to an uncomfortable time when he and Daesung were simply two artists who happened to work together. No close bonds of friendship or... more.

The hyungs do their best to pry an explanation out of him, Jiyong, Youngbae, and even Seunghyun keen to piece together what's been broken. But there isn't time for an intervention-- or Seungri makes sure there isn't. When he can catch a break in their schedule Seungri is off and away again, taking the next plane to who-knows-where, always on the go. Distance and occupation are the keys to escaping a conversation he isn't ready to have.

As for Daesung, he stays in, keeping with his usual routine. Home or hotel, it makes no difference.

Sometimes one of the hyungs will brush a hand across the back of Daesung's neck, casually reaffirming the hierarchy. As far as they know it's a non-issue. They'll lay a hand on his side or against the small of his back, affectionate and claiming in their habitual way. If Seungri is nearby Daesung's eyes will find his for just an instant-- as if gauging his reaction-- before darting away quickly. Seungri doesn't know what to make of it.

They hang all over Seungri, too-- Seunghyun roughhousing with him playfully, and Jiyong collapsing against his shoulder with glee when Seungri speaks another language and his accent or choice of words sends Jiyong into fits of laughter so intense he can't stay on his feet-- but the touches are somehow less focused on his omega centers of contact. He wonders if Daesung has filled them in on the nature of their fight, wonders how many of his issues have been brought to light.

It hurts to think that his closely held secrets might be out in the open, but it's the waiting and not knowing that's the worst. To be honest Seungri is approaching the point of wanting it to be over and done with. Like ripping off a band-aid.

However, even with Seungri nearby Daesung doesn't duck away from his hyungs' touches, letting their hands fall where they will whenever they please, and for that Seungri is oddly grateful. The last thing he wants is for Daesung to change his ways because of him, because of petty words he spoke in anger, verbal daggers he hurled at him carelessly in the heat of the moment.

The injury to Daesung's face heals, the bruise from Seungri's fist clearing with time and smooth, unblemished skin filling in where his elaborate ring had cut a shallow wound. Daesung takes special care during the healing process to make sure it looks as if the damage was never dealt.

The next time Seungri sees Jiyong discreetly tuck a pill bottle into Daesung's hand, Daesung accepts it readily, tucking it into the back pocket of his pants. Jiyong wraps an arm around his waist and squeezes, friendly and supportive. Whatever is said between them, it's short, like the bulk of their conversation took place another time, elsewhere. As he draws away his hand brushes over the seat of Daesung's skintight jeans, the barest touch of slender fingers over the enticing curve of his ass, and Seungri wonders.

Shortly thereafter, Daesung starts suppressing.

Seungri tells himself he's doing it for the good of their tour schedule. Not because of him. Months pass, the anticipated dates of his next heats flying by without consequence.

He doesn't call on Seungri again.

 

 

\--

 

 

"Is this yours?"

Jiyong sets the small bottle down on a table, the plastic hitting the surface of the table an all-too-familiar sound to Seungri's ears. He nearly panics when he sees what Jiyong holds, his eyes bugging out of his head.

"Yes!" he says with a rush of relief-- sweet, sweet relief. "Thank you, _thank you_."

"Don't lose these," Jiyong says, stern.

"I know, I have more than just this one though... Other bottles. Just in case, you know?"

Jiyong eyes him with an appraising look and murmurs, "That's prudent of you."

"Risk prevention," Seungri says proudly.

"Well, good boy."

Seungri smiles, pleased with himself. Then, "Is... um," Seungri knows he shouldn't ask, but he wants to know for sure. "Is Daesung taking these now, too?"

Jiyong gives him a strange look. "Yes. At least until we're done touring." He doesn't say, _'Why do you ask?'_ for which Seungri is so grateful. He's just curious, is all.

But then his stupid, traitorous mouth has to go and get him in trouble again.

"That's good. I don't know why he doesn't just stay on them. It would make things easier for everyone."

Foot, meet mouth.

"Wow," Jiyong says, looking at him aghast. "Really, Seungri? I don't think that's any of your concern."

"I don't mean it like-- I'm just saying!" Seungri rushes to explain. "Daesung always acts like taking suppressants is the worst thing in the world, when it could save him all the trouble of dealing with his heats. Seriously, it's not a big deal."

What comes out next surprises even him, the words laced with a vitriol he didn't know he still had in him, after everything. "I mean, if he'd rather keep doing the heat thing then that's fine. I'm glad it's so _easy_ for him."

"Easy?" Jiyong looks like he can't believe what he just heard. "You think it's easy for him? Just because he never talks about it doesn't mean it isn't hard on him. He struggles with it more than you know."

"He talks to you about it?"

"Not really. You know how Daesung is," he says. "But we've all seen it, what the heat does to him. What more needs to be said?"

"So _why not take the pills?_ That's the point I'm trying to make."

"Who knows? Does it matter? It's his body. If he feels like it's right to go without, then so be it. Of course," he says, reconsidering, "There are times when we really can't afford any-- ah-- for things to not go smoothly. We have a ship to sail, a schedule to keep. Daesung respects that."

"So that's why," Seungri says. He'd thought so; now he has his confirmation.

"I had to talk him into taking them again. It took a lot of convincing. He says they mess him up and it makes everything worse for him later on down the road."

"I know," Seungri confesses. He isn't sure why he feels the need to, but he does. "I saw the two of you talking the other day."

"You saw? Then why did you even ask?"

"I don't know."

Jiyong sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose like he feels a headache coming on. "Look, something big and obviously very bad happened between you two. I haven't forgotten. How could I? How could any of us? Are you ever going to tell me what happened back there?"

"I don't know," Seungri repeats stubbornly, the conversation taking its toll on him and beginning to make him feel sullen.

"But since you're so determined not to talk about it..." Jiyong shakes his head, looking at him with wide eyes. "I still can't believe you actually hit him."

"Can we just not talk about it right now," Seungri grumbles, looking at his shoes. "Sorry I asked."

Jiyong stands there and watches him uncertainly for some time. He looks at Seungri like he's reevaluating him, like he's not sure who he's dealing with anymore. It's tough, but Seungri stays strong and refuses to budge under the scrutiny. Finally, Jiyong closes the distance between them and coaxes Seungri into a hug, handling him in that unexpectedly delicate way that is so uniquely Jiyong. He is such a mystery to Seungri, this alpha who exudes an air of authority despite his small frame, his smooth and slender build, his effeminate features. Appearances can be deceiving; that was never clearer to Seungri than after he joined Big Bang and met Jiyong.

"I'm not angry at you. Just frustrated. We can't just let this go on forever," Jiyong sighs a little sadly, petting Seungri's hair with a special fondness he reserves for his maknae. His touch is soothing and Seungri's eyes fall closed automatically, enjoying the attention. "I hope you and Daesung will work things out, and soon."

Seungri only hums.

 

 

\--

 

 

Seungri checks the time on his phone. They're on in five. It's almost show time.

He puts his phone on silent and turns on his heel to go when the door across the room from him opens unexpectedly and in rushes a panic-stricken Daesung. He locks the door behind him. He's a little sweaty, bangs just beginning to stick to his forehead, and he's wrapped one arm around his stomach. Out of habit Seungri sniffs the air.

Oh. This isn't good.

The scent is faint still, but one look at Daesung in distress and it's obvious. Seungri has seen this often enough.

"Seungri," Daesung hangs his head, forcing his name out from between gritted teeth. "I might need your help."

"I thought you were suppressing," Seungri says, surprise allowing the words to tumble out unchecked.

"I was," Daesung replies, "During the tour. But now that it's over and we're just doing PR, I stopped taking them."

"That's..." Seungri really doesn't know what to say to that. It seems foolish to him and he wants to say so, but one of them needs to keep a cool head, and pretty soon it won't be Daesung.

"I thought I had more time," Daesung laments, the arm around his middle pressing and holding like he's in pain. "I didn't expect it to start this soon."

Seungri hears him, but with their previous fight still fresh in his mind, a months-old wound, he can't understand why Daesung has come to him for help, of all people. He could have asked Jiyong, Youngbae, even Seunghyun-- any of his hyungs would come to his aid in a heartbeat.

"Why me?" he says dumbly, and Daesung just groans. "Why not one of the others? Wouldn’t they be better for this?"

" _That's not what I'm asking you for right now_ ," Daesung says breathlessly, shooting him a _look_. And Seungri understands then that an alpha is the last thing Daesung wants in this very moment. _Of course_ he isn't looking to for a hookup, not here. He's looking to escape. Seungri is astonished to realize that even after all this time and the rift between them, he is somehow still Daesung's confidant. It doesn't make any sense to him that he would rely on Seungri right now when he's so vulnerable. Hasn't Seungri already proven that he can't be trusted with this level of responsibility?

He can't let his friend down again-- his brother, his former lover. He won't. So he squares his shoulders and raises his head and asks, "What do you need?"

"I need to leave. I have to _go_."

"But the interview--"

"You guys can do it without me. You know I can't go out there like this." Daesung slumps against the nearest wall, panting in effort as he speaks. Seungri's eyes catch on a tiny droplet of sweat sliding down the side of his face. His sweat is packed with pheromones that, as the heat progresses, will announce to everyone near enough to breathe the same air that they have an in-heat omega on their hands, ripe for the picking.

_He's ready and waiting, come and get him._

"Okay," Seungri says. "Okay, I'll get you out of here, get you home."

Daesung hesitates. Then, "Thank you," he whispers, so quietly that Seungri might have missed it if not for the sight of his lips moving to form the words. "I'm sorry about... before. I really need your help right now. I think it has to be you," he adds, quietly.

"No! _I'm_ sorry," Seungri counters. "Why are you apologizing? Don't apologize. I--" Daesung makes a soft sound of pain and Seungri's mouth snaps shut. What are they doing? They don't have time to talk about this right now.

"We can talk about it later," he promises, going to Daesung and placing a friendly hand on his shoulder, squeezing in reassurance. "I'll help you. Again, what do you need me to do?"

"I don't know," Daesung begins, running a hand over his face, trying to clear his head long enough to form a plan of action. "I've called my driver. He should be here soon, if he isn't already. I just need to get to the car without running into anyone. I need to clear a path."

"I should clear a path, you mean," Seungri corrects him. "You are in no state to be going out there. Seriously." He takes Daesung by the arm, gently leading him to a couch nearby.

"Sit. Stay there." Daesung complies, looking faintly like he wants to resist. Daesung isn't a proud person, but Seungri knows how he hates to be a burden. Seungri sees his fingers scratching at the denim of his jeans, fingering the frayed edges of holes torn in the knees and thighs, fighting the urge to touch himself where his pants are, Seungri now notices, tenting rather obviously. Shit, can't have that. He takes Daesung's hands in his own and presses them together, encouraging Daesung to lace his fingers.

"No touching, not until we get you home," he says. If he starts here their chances of getting out with Daesung's decency intact are slim. Speaking of decency... Seungri gives him his jacket, draping it over his lap. "You're going to need that on the way out," he says. Daesung thanks him absently, leaning forward and biting his lip in concentration.

Seungri stands over him like a guard and assesses the situation. Daesung is vulnerable in his current state, not only because the pheromones his body emits make him more attractive to nearby alphas, but also because his own body is making demands that he doesn't wish to obey. Despite the things he said before, Daesung is one of the strongest people Seungri knows. But the heat's sway is powerful; it will compel him to readily submit to any alpha that solicits him. If the omega influence had its way, he would be on his knees for whatever alpha in an instant, begging for his knot, pleading to be fucked.

He can't help it. Can't fight it, not for long. That's the beauty-- and the danger-- of heat pheromones. The desire works both ways, nature's attempt at making a mating happen. The cycle of life must continue, after all.

Primal instincts be damned. Seungri will do his best to make sure he doesn't succumb.

Seungri considers his options. He and Daesung could leave together, but they risk running into someone-- potentially an alpha-- along the way. He could go ahead of Daesung and clear a path, but leaving Daesung here alone seems like a bad idea no matter how he looks at it.

That settles it. He'll have to enlist the help of one of their bandmates. Jiyong, Youngbae, and Seunghyun may be alphas-- the very thing Daesung needs to avoid right now-- but their scents are familiar enough to Daesung,  and Daesung's to them, that Seungri thinks they can make it work. It's their best option.

He texts Youngbae first.

_'Daesung is here with me, we need your help. Heat started. He needs to go. Come quick plz.'_

He holds his phone and waits. It buzzes only seconds later with Youngbae's swift, short reply.

_'Be there soon.'_

Seungri has to let Youngbae in when he arrives--locked door and all-- and a few strides into the room Youngbae stops in his tracks, gaze fixed on Daesung where he sits on the couch, sweating and miserable. Sensing Youngbae's stare, Daesung lifts his head. They lock eyes and breathe deeply.

Their nostrils flare as they take in each other's unique scent, the alpha in Youngbae determining if Daesung will be receptive to his advances. Seungri watches curiously from the side. This behavior is normal, natural. But this cannot happen here, not now, so he steps between them just as Youngbae is beginning forward again toward Daesung.

"Okay, okay, break it up." He claps his hands down on Youngbae's shoulders with as friendly a smile as he can manage, shaking him playfully and steering him away, hoping he doesn't get smacked for interrupting an alpha's advance on an omega in heat. It's Youngbae, but you just never know.

"You good? You good? You okay? Maybe I should have met you in the hall. _Sit down_ , Daesung." Daesung, who had started to rise, sits back down, chewing again at his lip.

Youngbae rubs at his eyes like he's waking up. "Yeah, I'm good. Wow. That's... Maybe it's because it's been so long."

"This is why we need your help. Can you go ahead of us? Make sure the coast is clear? I'll stay with him."

Youngbae seems to come back to himself fully then, refocusing on Seungri before him. "Yeah, of course." He meets Seungri's eyes with a resolute look. "Yes. How much time do you need?"

"Probably just a few minutes. His driver should be outside by now."

"Okay." Youngbae gives Daesung an assessing look, taking in his tightly clasped hands and tortured posture. Seungri can see plainly that he wants to go to him. "Alright, I'm going. Don't fall too far behind me." Seungri nods, and Youngbae goes.

Seungri turns to Daesung. "You ready?" Daesung nods, the movement quick, curt. Seungri has been suppressing for so long, so unfailingly, he can't claim to understand exactly what Daesung is feeling right now. But he knows it's taking every ounce of Daesung's willpower for him to curb the urge to get up and follow Youngbae out that door.

"Daesung." He takes his hyung's hand in his, pulls him onto his feet. "Come on. I've got you." Daesung goes with him willingly enough, clutching at the jacket Seungri had draped over his lap earlier.

It's a nerve-wracking experience for sure, but they're very careful, even if Seungri ends up having to tug Daesung along most of the way. Seungri guides him cautiously through the halls, Youngbae keeping just in sight and waving Seungri forward when the way is clear. He makes for a shady-looking figure, darting this way and that. If anyone sees him this might require an explanation later, Seungri thinks with a wry smile. Only once do they spot anyone along the way-- an alpha, Seungri supposes based on the way Daesung grinds to a halt and goes stiff all over, the interest clear on his face before Seungri wraps arms around him and ushers him away and toward the open door Youngbae is holding for them.

On the other side of that door is parked a glossy black car, which Daesung climbs into readily. "Thanks for coming on such short notice," he says to the driver, a little shaky but always considerate.

Seungri lingers awkwardly, unsure of what to do with himself now that he has made good on his promise. Daesung looks to him expectantly.

"Aren't you coming?"

Seungri doesn't exactly... _want_ to get in the car with Daesung. He knows where they'll end up together if he does-- tangled up in each other-- and he hasn't forgotten Daesung's words of warning when they came to blows months ago. _"Don't ever touch me again,"_ he had said with a fierceness that Seungri can never forget.

His interest in helping was always selfish, anyway.

"I think you should go alone," Seungri answers. "Go straight home. Take your pills." It's probably too late for that, but it might make things more bearable for Daesung until the day's activities are over and one of the others can go to him.

"You know that's not how it works. Not now."

"I know."

"Seungri," Daesung calls his name sweetly, maybe a little desperately. "Seungri, don't make me beg. Come with me." He tugs Seungri down to his level and whispers in his most provocative voice, his plush lips brushing the shell of Seungri's ear, " _I need you. I want you._ "

The puff of air over his skin sends a veritable bolt of lightning through him. There may as well be a straight line from his ear to his cock, which is quickly stirring in interest now that they're past the point of danger and accidental discovery. Well, this is getting a little embarrassing. Seungri peeks at the driver, who is studiously ignoring them-- this is why they only hire betas as drivers-- and bites his lip.

He wants to. He's being asked to. Daesung is _this_ close to begging him to.

Fuck it, he's going to.

In the car Daesung wastes no time; he takes Seungri's hand and presses it against the unmistakable bulge at the front of his ripped jeans, Seungri marveling at the heat he feels through the denim. Daesung doesn't look at Seungri as he does it, but Seungri understands. What is there to misunderstand? Another wary glance at their driver and he slips his hand out of Daesung's, plunging it under his waistband and passing it over his taut cock and his balls, drawn up tight and hot inside the confines of his clothes. Daesung sucks in a ragged breath as Seungri's fingers curl around his hard length and give him a squeeze, teasing, testing.

The way he shudders in delight under his hands turns Seungri the fuck on, the sight and sound and smell of him when he's like this the ultimate aphrodisiac.

Satisfied, Seungri lets his hand roam farther, his hand curling to reach underneath, searching. He's surprised when his fingers dip into wetness, sliding all too easily through the slick that is characteristic of Daesung's heat. Daesung is much farther along than he realized. The encounter with Youngbae or the brief glimpse of that other alpha in the hallway... One of them had fired him up. No wonder he had struggled against Seungri's hold every step of the way.

He buries his face in Daesung's neck, tasting his damp skin while he treats Daesung to a quick finger fuck right there in the car, his arm moving briskly to the rolling of Daesung's hips. It's the least Seungri can do for him right now, until they're safely at home. Somewhere along the way Daesung has pulled Seungri's jacket back over his lap, but beyond that he's too far gone to care if they have an audience. Seungri finds his sheer abandon absolutely intoxicating, his breathy, wanting sighs lighting the fire of need inside him.

How can a person be so fucking _erotic?_

At some point Daesung starts undoing the buttons on his own shirt. He's made it halfway down his front by the time Seungri notices and stops him.

"No no, not here," Seungri chides, forcing his hands back down to his sides. He fusses with Daesung's open shirt, sliding the buttons back through their holes, and Daesung makes a sound like he's been wounded.

"Shh, just wait, just a little longer, if you take your shirt off now you'll just have to put it back on," he says, doing his best to keep Daesung in check until where they make it to where they can finally have some privacy and Seungri can give Daesung what he really needs.

They're only a few blocks away when Seungri's gaze drifts back to the front, and this time he catches the driver peering at the pair of them curiously in the rearview mirror. Seungri snarls a warning at him-- something like " _Fuck off_ ," but most of his blood has rushed from his head by then so he can't be too sure. The man returns his eyes to the road promptly.

_Rude_.

Later, staggering out of the car with a sexed-up Daesung fully at the mercy of his heat hanging off him, Seungri tips him generously for his silence on the matter.

 

 

\--

 

 

They don't make it to the bedroom.

Hell, they don't make it to the living room couch, or into the living room for that matter. From the moment the front door closes behind them-- Seungri's weight forcing it shut behind him as Daesung grinds shamelessly against his front-- they're attached at the lips and at the hips. Pressed cock to cock, they fumble their way through the front entry and down the hall, Daesung kissing and sucking and biting hungrily at every inch of skin Seungri gives him. Seungri can only try to keep up, wanting to give as good as he gets but having a hard time of it up against the frenzied urgency of Daesung's heat. He manages to yank his and Daesung's shirts off, losing them both on the carpet along the way. Halfway through the kitchen Daesung spins around in Seungri's arms, pushes his ass against the clear outline of his cock through his jeans, and invites Seungri into him right then and there.

It's less an invite, more a demand, really.

"Come on, come _on_ ," Daesung pants with need, peeling his jeans halfway down strong thighs and bracing hands against the countertops. Seungri wrestles with his own clothes, fingers clumsily undoing the buckle of his belt and catching on the button of his fly in his haste. What's fine motor control when Daesung is before him, against him, arching his back so beautifully and grinding his pert ass back against his crotch?

At last he frees his cock, achingly hard by now, and guides it between Daesung's wet cheeks. It'll be easy going in, Daesung is so wet already, his natural slick dripping over him and making every touch of skin between them smooth and effortless. At the feel of Seungri's cock against him, Daesung bucks under him, trying to maneuver hips so that he's coming down on it.

"Wait," Seungri says in a rush. "Wait, what about-- _ah_ \-- protection?"

" _Fuck_ protection," Daesung growls, and Seungri jolts in surprise at the unexpected profanity not usually heard from this hyung.

"You told me to be responsible."

"You're clean, aren't you? You're careful?" Daesung whines in frustration. He grabs Seungri's arm in a painful grip, holding him there with the same unrelenting strength he had displayed in their scuffle with each other months ago. "Stay here. Come on, _just fuck me_ , Seungri, don't make me wait anymore, _please_."

" _Alright_ , okay," Seungri swears under his breath and holds his swollen length steady while Daesung backs into him, letting him do as he pleases.

His body knows what it needs. Seungri is just along for the ride.

"Okay, there, hold still for just a second, I've got it, _oh_ \--" Daesung's body accepts him easily, opening around Seungri and taking all of him in one fluid, easy glide. It always amazes him how readily, how eagerly the heat opens Daesung's body to his cock. Seungri's cock _throbs_ as Daesung's flesh closes around him, consumed by the blinding, brilliant pleasure of being buried in something so _hot_ and _tight_ and _too good_.

" _Daesung_ ," Seungri groans, hands tight on Daesung's hips, fingers digging in and probably leaving bruises for the following morning as his hips snap up into his heat like a reflex. "You were made for this."

"Yes, _ah_ , I need it," Daesung whimpers and cries out, "Move, Seungri, _harder_!"

So Seungri does. He fucks Daesung as hard and fast and relentlessly as his body allows, hips pistoning in and out of Daesung's ravenous body with reckless abandon. It isn't elegant, it isn't skillful, but fuck it, _that isn't what either of them signed up for._

"Seungri," Daesung whines, shifting his weight onto his elbows. "Yes, like that, right there, _please, oh--_ " Daesung's fucking _voice_. He punctuates every forceful thrust with a breathy sigh and it's the sexiest thing Seungri has ever heard, spurring him on as he works his hyung closer to orgasm, taking him apart with every slap of his hips against Daesung's skin, every stab of his cock into Daesung's willing heat.

In this midst of this chaos Seungri finds himself staring at a familiar sight: the back of Daesung's neck. A lance of arousal tears through him, as up and down the back of his own neck his skin prickles with a different kind of hunger. Again, he wants to put his hand there. He itches to close his hand around the nape, to comb his fingers through the sweat-soaked hair curled behind his ears.

Before he knows it, his greedy hand has landed on Daesung's shoulder, then creeps to the slope between shoulder and neck. His heart threatens to beat out of his chest in nervous anticipation. He wants to take but this time he will ask first. He squeezes the muscle there hard to get Daesung's attention.

"Can I--?"

This time he asks for permission, and this time Daesung grants it. He lays a hand over Seungri's and presses his hand to his skin, folds Seungri's fingers in for him. Seungri nearly loses it right there.

Seungri wastes no opportunities. He takes hold of him by the scruff of the neck, gripping firmly. Daesung is no delicate flower; he can handle a little rough treatment. He's solidly built and hell, he takes Seunghyun to bed frequently enough-- Seunghyun, whose unique brand of affection is notoriously aggressive. A little careless at the best of times, a little cruel at the worst.

He clamps down _hard_.

Daesung reacts by dropping his head low between his shoulders and practically _gushing_ for Seungri, his slick coating the skin between both their legs copiously and turning everything between them sopping wet. It's positively filthy and Seungri loves it, couldn't be more thrilled; in this very moment, crashing his body as deeply as it can reach into Daesung's over and over again, he feels dominant and powerful, like an alpha fucking a prime omega at the height of his heat into submission, bending and bowing him into a state of perfect, euphoric, sexual satisfaction.

Daesung lifts a hand and thrusts it between his legs as he begins desperately stroking himself off, his arm working at a fevered pace. Seungri puts all his weight into him, onto him, driving Daesung down, _down_ until his forehead touches the cool countertops and he finally comes with a choked cry, his orgasm stealing his voice away and wrapping him in a blissful silence.

A few uneven thrusts later Seungri follows him over the edge, the spasms of Daesung's orgasm wringing his own out of him, milking him mercilessly. Shortly after, when at last he tumbles down from the peak of his pleasure, Seungri slumps against Daesung, staying inside him for as long as he's able. This time he knows what's coming. He knows what is not going to happen.

"Wish I could knot you," he mourns, his lips brushing the fine sheen of sweat over Daesung's skin as he speaks. "Like Seunghyun does. And Youngbae. And Jiyong... _Fuck_ , I want to give you that more than anything."

Daesung says nothing, only trembles at Seungri's words heavy with longing and remorse.

"I'm sorry."

"Shh," Daesung shushes him, attempting to console. They don't need words right now. Instead Daesung reaches behind himself and tangles fingers into the short hair on Seungri's head where it rests against his shoulder, fingers curling and uncurling in something resembling petting as he winds down. For a short time they lean on each other and just breathe.

This time Seungri does not imagine that he feels the tell-tale swelling of the knot he knows he should have. He wishes more than anything that he could fill Daesung with a knot of his own, lock the two of them together at their most intimate places, to lay claim to this extraordinary person... and in his own way, tied to his omega, _be_ claimed.

But nothing has changed here, and his spent cock soon softens as it always does. Daesung clenches rhythmically around Seungri's cock where they're joined, his body unconsciously feeling for a knot to lock onto and finding none, attempting to initiate a tie that cannot be completed. Seungri slips out and tucks himself away briskly, boxing up the usual disappointment and shoving it away  into a dark, cluttered corner of his mind that he is free to revisit later.

Right now he has an exhausted-- and, thanks to him, very _sated_ \-- omega to finish attending to.

 

 

\--

 

 

They do it twice more before the initial rush of Daesung's heat subsides.

 

 

\--

 

 

Daesung refuses his offers to help with cleanup afterward, so Seungri eventually quits trying to force his generosity on him and leaves him to manage on his own. He does take it upon himself to grab a towel and scrub away the splash of come Daesung had left on the cabinet door against which they'd been fucking. Under normal circumstances Daesung would never overlook something like that, but things being as they are...

It wouldn't be a proper heat if things didn't get a little messy. He tosses the rag in the sink and follows Daesung to his bedroom.

When he gets there he's surprised to find Daesung already in bed, on his side with the blankets pulled up to his chin. He looks so comfortable and inviting that Seungri almost joins him-- before remembering that in spite of what just happened between them, he might not be welcome here now that Daesung has made it past the initial rush of arousal that always signals the start of his heat. He might even snap at him, might drive him out. So Seungri lingers in the doorway, leaning into the wood in what he hopes is a casual manner.

"You gonna be okay?" He'll be sated for a while, but the heat will come in waves and will likely last for days... longer if unaided.

Daesung replies with a muffled " _Mmhmm_ " and burrows deeper into his nest. It's so adorable Seungri can't stand it. He fumbles with his phone, the screen lighting up under his fingers.

"Should I ask one of the others to come over? In case you need anything..."

"Is that what you want?"

Seungri bows his head. "It doesn't matter what I want." No, he doesn't want to hand Daesung over to one of the others, but after their fight the other day-- God, he can't believe they actually came to blows-- he can't even look Daesung in the eye without feeling like scum.

"Seungri," Daesung says warmly. "I want you to stay, okay? And I realize that now is a weird time... but we need to talk."

_Well, shit._

Daesung bows his head. "First off, I'm so sorry, Seungri. You're not broken. I'm so, so sorry for saying that, I shouldn't have. It's not true, anyway." He tries to smile; it comes up a sad, regretful-looking thing that looks terribly out of place on Daesung's face. "I've never felt so angry as I did then, I didn't know I could. You, um," he pauses to take a deep breath. "You really got under my skin."

" _I'm_ sorry," Seungri says sincerely.

"And I didn't know you saw me like that. I wish you wouldn't think of me that way." _‘You hurt me,’_ he doesn't say, but the unspoken statement burns itself into Seungri's conscience.

"No, I'm the one who should be sorry here. I started it. I tried to finish it. I really didn't mean any of it."

"You meant some of it," Daesung points out, correctly.

"I-- I only meant the parts about myself. Whatever I said about you-- I don't even remember most of it anymore. I think I just wanted it to hurt, and I'm _so_ sorry for that." He swallows thickly, gathering his courage for the rest.

"Daesung, you are one of the strongest people I know. You're so comfortable with who you are. You accept your status like... It fits you somehow, even though it seems like it shouldn't. You're comfortable in your skin." His voice drops to just shy of a whisper. "I am too, mostly, but there are a few things... I wish I could be stronger, like you. I think that must be why I took it out on you. Maybe I knew you could take it."

"I can't say I know exactly how you feel," Daesung says, sitting up, the blanket pooling around his waist. He beckons Seungri to him. Seungri steels himself and goes, settling gingerly on the edge of the bed. Daesung scoots closer, wrapping him up in strong arms and hugging him close.

"But, listen, I thought about it and I realized... we're kind of using each other, if you know what I'm saying? So maybe you're using me to feel more like an alpha... whatever that's supposed to mean. You can tell me more about that when you're ready." With his chin hooked over Seungri's shoulder, Seungri can't see him, but he can almost feel the warmth of his smile. They really do have an angel in their midst. "But hey, I'm also using you to help me get through my heats," he stresses that with a friendly squeeze. "I think we might just be even."

"I don't think of it that way," Seungri admits. "Now that the truth is out in the open it just feels like I'm taking advantage of you."

"Seungri, it's _fine_. This thing we have, whatever it is... It works for us. That's all that matters."

"You say that, but I still feel awful! Can we just... I guess we can't just forget that it ever happened?"

Daesung sighs, drawing away but keeping a firm hold on Seungri, strong hands on his biceps.

"I'm sorry, I can't just forget it. That's not how it works." Seungri expected that, but something inside him plummets to the floor nonetheless. Probably his heart.

"But you should know that I forgive you." Daesung smiles at Seungri then, just a quirk of the lips, and it's enough to restore hope.

" _Thank you_."

"Just don't do it again," he scolds, turning fretful. "We can't fight like that. We're better than that."

"Okay," Seungri agrees. Another silence passes before Daesung speaks again.  
"Would you like to keep this up? Help me with my heats?" He ducks his head, looking shy with his hair falling like a curtain over his eyes. "It's a lot harder than you think, Seungri. It might not always be you, but having you here is... It's a huge help to me."

Seungri may not fully understand Daesung's quarterly struggle, but he knows how it troubles him to plainly ask for help like this.

And so there is no hesitation. "Yes," Seungri says, pouring all the conviction he can muster into his voice as he answers, "If you still want me, then _yes_."

"Great," Daesung says, seeming embarrassed at his own sincerity. He sweeps the hair away from his eyes, which take on a playful shine. "I'm glad! And if you want pretend to knot me, that's cool. I'll play along. But don't even _think_ about calling me 'weak' again. You know I could flatten you in a second."

Seungri squawks in indignation. "Are you calling me scrawny?"

"You could use a little more meat on these bones," he teases, squeezing at Seungri's upper arms where his muscle definition pales next to Daesung's, then shakes him playfully. As if he needed the reminder!

"Okay, okay, ow! You and your tree trunk arms. Take it easy, Mr. Muscles," Seungri tries to join in on lightening the mood, something he is normally so adept at. It feels lacking by his standards but Daesung happily picks up the slack, releasing him and treating him to a grin so bright it lights up the room and chases away the last of the gloom between them, or so it seems. Seungri smiles but a hint of doubt must still show on his face because Daesung's expression softens.

"I'm just kidding, you know. I think you're perfect." With that he tugs Seungri forward and catches his lips in a surprisingly gentle, lingering kiss. For all that Daesung avoids initiating this kind of contact, he holds Seungri there for quite some time, his soft lips over his own lulling him into a tranquil state.

"Thanks," Seungri says on a whisper when they part, that simple, chaste act somehow striking him as more intimate than all the day's earlier activities. "Thanks for forgiving me. For giving me another chance. It means a lot to me... more than you know." He mutters, more for his own ears than for Daesung's, "I think I have some things to work through."

"There might be a few things," Daesung says, not unkindly.

"So what did you tell the others?"

"I haven't told them anything," Daesung replies. "Didn't think it was my place. You need to be the one to tell them about how you're feeling, Seungri. We're Big Bang; we're one body. Your secret is only going to hurt us. It already has," he says gently. "We can't have that, especially not now."

Seungri looks away. What Daesung says is true. Doesn't mean he has to like it. He kind of wishes Daesung wasn't so good at keeping secrets, wishes that he _had_ leaked some info about their argument to the other members. Where will he even begin?

"I will. I'll talk to them," he promises.

"Don't wait too long. I don't know how much more of their poking and prodding I can take. You better do it soon or I might start to let some things slip," he jokes. Seungri cracks a smile.

"If you were Jiyong, everyone would know by now."

"You might want to tell him last," Daesung says carefully.

"No way! I can't do that." There is some wisdom to that, but Jiyong would never let him live it down if Seungri talked to him last and he later found out about it. Seungri frowns, cocking his head to the side in thought. "Maybe everyone together." The idea is daunting, but it isn't a conversation he wants to have over and over again if he can help it.

"True," Daesung agrees. "But really, don't keep it bottled up. We're all here for you-- me, Jiyong, Youngbae, Seunghyun. We've been a unit for so many years, don't ever think you can't come to us if something is bothering you. I know I speak for all of us when I say we _will_ try to help you." Daesung smiles at him gently, his eyes crinkling up in that sweet expression he wears so well. "You're a good friend, Seungri. I really don't want to lose that over... this," he murmurs, though it seems to embarrass him again to say it.

Seungri isn't easily moved to tears, he's not the type, but there's... there's just something in his eye, that's all. He doesn't know what to say. What do you say to something like that?

"Thank you, again," he settles on. "Thank you, _thank you,_ Daesung. I won't hide anymore, I promise. I _won't_ ," he swears. "We had a good thing going. _Have_ a good thing going," Seungri corrects, "So I'm still here if you need me. Any part of me. All of me."

Daesung gives him a suggestive look. "That's good to know. There are parts of you I need more than others right now." They both laugh, the earlier tension gone without a trace. That thing that Seungri has spent years building with Daesung, that unnamed thing he thought he had lost for good? No, he'd just lost track of it. He's found it again... right here where he left it.

"Well," Seungri says after a moment, standing.

"You don't have to go," Daesung says, patting the empty space beside him invitingly. "You can sleep here if you want."

"I would, but I'm actually not that tired." Daesung raises an eyebrow at him that says, _‘After all that?’_

"Hey, I'm in better shape than you think. It's why I'm the perfect person to help you out with this." He waggles his brows at Daesung. "I've got stamina for _days_."

"Okay, Seungri," Daesung chuckles. "I might hold you to that though. I never really know what to expect coming off the suppressants. It's like my body has to make up for the the time it missed."

Seungri smirks at him and motions to himself dramatically. "Well, that's why I'm here."

Daesung just hums in agreement. His fingers fiddle with the blanket absent-mindedly, and Seungri knows they're fast approaching the end of this conversation because suddenly Daesung looks like he's about to nod off.

"I'll just be in the other room," Seungri says. He holds up his phone. "Call if you need me. Or text me. Or... well, there are lots of ways you can reach me, you already know that."

Daesung waves him away-- _'Just go already, I'll be fine,'_ the motion says, Seungri has seen it often enough-- and all but dives back under the covers, determined to steal a few hours of sleep before the heat arrests him, waking him and making its demands of him all over again.

Filthy demands that Seungri will be happy to oblige when the time comes.

He leaves the door ajar, just enough that he can hear Daesung easily if he calls, feeling a need to protect and provide settle over him. Seungri is honored to have another chance at this. He won't blow it a second time.

What he has with Daesung is so much more than a duty. It's a privilege.

So Seungri flops down on Daesung's couch with his phone in his lap. He is tired, he's wiped out, but he's way too keyed up to sleep just yet. He pulls up his chats with the rest of Big Bang who have left him a string of unanswered messages. Seungri understands their worry, given the strain between him and Daesung in recent months. With absolute certainty he knows that his hyungs are going to pounce on him the next time they meet, anxious for answers. They'll jump on Daesung too, but Daesung has a way of getting out of his hyungs' interrogations. _‘Ah, this is definitely going to require some clearing up,’_ Seungri thinks.

Until then... With some time to himself, and needing to stay put, he loses himself in his musings for a while.

So some things have changed, some things haven't. Seungri guesses that some things never will. And in some ways, maybe that's the best he can hope for. Start small, Seungri tells himself. Start small and build up. What's that they say about a journey of a thousand miles?

There is no obvious solution for him, or if there is, he hasn't found it yet. And that's where Seungri is about to recruit himself some honest help. This omega with alpha tendencies is more than ready for a journey of self-discovery... and hopefully some healing.

And with Daesung at his side-- a pillar of strength in times of crippling fear, a well of courage for Seungri to draw on when he can't bring himself to face his own perceived inadequacies-- maybe he'll learn to see that what he believed to be his personal failings were simply the things that made him uniquely Lee Seunghyun. Seungri.

Maybe he can start Seungri on the road to accepting that he isn't _broken_ , he isn't wrong; he is just as he's meant to be and he should be damn proud of it. And maybe the idea of confiding in the rest of his Big Bang family-- of bringing Jiyong, Youngbae, and Seunghyun in on this thing that's plagued him for so much of his young life-- maybe it won't be so terrifying anymore.

Daesung speaks truth; they are _all_ there for each other. Seungri doesn't have to face his demons alone. He has friends, he has family. He has Big Bang. Maybe, just maybe, they can all slay this dragon together, the five of them as one.

Seungri would like that.

 

 

 


End file.
